I have issues #poem

I have issues ..let me grab this tissue
I can't understand why I still miss you
I know my Instagram tired of me talking out u ..But I could Careless this is my way of coping with out you
Remember I asked u if u wanted to give up ..u replied "No cuz u ain't a chick I just wanna fxck,... I dunno cuz you make you happy" I never forgot those words
My frustration turned our relationship into a blur ...But that day, so vivid in my mind ..I could remember filling up the tub
And just laying there so lost
Tryna gather my thoughts ...
I remember being so excited the butterflies in ma stomach made me sick For a whole month I counted down the days till our trip ...You never really start to feel it ..till u realize not even sex could fix it
Now I love my self with in FIRST, staring at my same reflection ...
Im having flashbacks, that day I left I was in deep depression
As i watched you sleep I cried
I left all my memories with you in that room, usually it's nothing to me to move on n forget about a dude
But I never been the same since then
you my friend played the cards better then me
I dunno how I let u get the best of me
My Restless,Blood shot eyes had no desire to look up.. The sun in Miami never shined so bright... My smile was so pretty and big but my heart was so dark ..You know when ur so hurt but Tryna hide it ..Praying a tear wont drop and staying silent cuz Any little thing could ignite it
ma sisters husband said sometimes you pray and pray for ur dream guy
u might actually get ur dream guy
But be careful what u ask for
Cuz sometimes it's not the typical dream guy
Writing this poem I think I understand why I still miss u
so ill grab this tissue n simply wipe these issues